A short discussion around discussing 'justice' with victim/survivors of sexual violence.When receiving a disclosure, it’s vital to listen, make the victim/ survivor (V/S) feel believed, clarify your role to support a boundaried relationship, and empower the V/S to choose from viable options – both in relation to reporting and support. In order to empower, you will need to inform and educate. In order you inform and educate, you may need to provide additional context.
Whoever we are, our view of the world and everything in it will be informed by all our experiences in life – including the role society plays on our perceptions and beliefs. This can make making decisions extremely difficult for a sexual violence V/S in a society riddled with rape culture.
Rape culture is, with the addition of the offender (who cannot be absolved), what allows sexual violence to be perpetrated in our communities. Rape culture is created by ‘low level’ behaviours (such as sexist comments, rape “jokes”) going unchallenged, and therefore escalating to ‘more serious’ behaviours, culminating in rape. [You will note the inverted commas on the descriptors of behaviours as, given the explanation of how rape culture pervades society, you’ll appreciate that there’s no point in classifying behaviours that all contribute towards rape perpetration.]
Behaviours that escalate (“culture support behaviours”) to the “culture ultimate behaviours” can include perpetuation of rape myths and misconceptions. These are statements like: “well, what did she expect given she was drunk?”, “if that really happened, why wouldn’t they go to the Police straight away?”, “well he let him buy him drinks, and take him home, he probably just assumed that’s what he wanted”. These statements serve as an emotional protection for us to think that as long as we don’t drink too much, or let someone take us home, we can be protected from actual harm. Unfortunately, this is just not correct, and in the process of trying to emotionally protect ourselves, we are intentionally or unintentionally creating a world in which a V/S cannot truly process what has happened to them without feeling as though they are to blame.
Alongside rape myths, V/Ss will have to process in world that assumes when something bad happens, you tell someone in a position of power, and it gets sorted. Being believed is just assumed throughout. After experiencing rape or sexual assault, a V/S may assume the only way to get justice after what they’ve been subjected to is by reporting to someone in a position of power who will sort it for them, and believe them throughout. However, you add in the rape myths pervasive in society, and the road to ‘justice’ gets more complicated.
It is because of this, when I work with V/Ss, we try and expand on what justice means for them. Reporting (to the Police or University) is often the assumed method, but there is so much more. We try and work on where they see themselves in 1 week, 1 month, and 1 year’s time. This is in terms of what they want to be doing, how they want to be feeling, and what they might want to have achieved in the past week, month, or year. This puts the focus on the V/S themselves, where it can sometimes be common or easy to focus on the person who subjected them to the assault. When you put the locus of control outside of the person making the decisions, disappointment is so much more common and the V/S continues to be disempowered. When we have had these discussions – however long they may take, depending on how much myth-busting is required with the V/S themself – reporting to the University or Police does not always seem like the most necessary or desired option.
This is not to say that reporting is discouraged in any way. When your role is to present objective and fair options, sometimes a balance needs to be redressed. Given the emphasis on reporting in society, redressing the balance of options for my students may seem like discouragement. However, reporting just may not be what justice means to them.
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